Friday, August 26, 2011

Zappos Couture? What what?

   After doing some online shopping I stumbled across what I believe to be the ugliest clutch I've ever beheld. I love Kate Spade. But something went terribly awry here...

For only $195
   Gasp. This made my fashion bone hurt. I did some perusing on the same site. I wasn't aware that Zappos had a couture site so imagine my excitement! It came up fruitless. I adore fashion and understand you have to pay more for good quality and couture. But what on Earth is this? Shorts? Underwear? Why would I carry this clutch ever? Oh and it's $695.


   The next purse only made me think ONE thing. "Pardon me, Pretty Woman called and she wants her purse back."

Badgley Mischka

   I love a nice straw bag for summer. I really like tropical accessories.  I also enjoy a funny T-shirt every now and again. I can't think of a reason anyone would want this bag. You vacation in the Hamptons? Don't bring this with you.

Shame on you, Kate Spade

   At this point  I had more than enough handbags. Couture my foot. Narsty. On to accessories. My ears feel cold. So does my neck and the forehead. I have the perfect solution!

"Courtesy" D&G

   I don't know how they got into my old hair accessories but I KNOW I owned a barrette just like this in 1992. Except it was from Claire's.

And it wasn't $99.
   It would be a sin to leave out the ring that will haunt my nightmares. No longer aliens, now I'll see skulls. I have several pieces with skulls on them. Love the trend, I respect it. When I'm not sure if I can support the weight of the item on my ring finger is when I back down.

McQueen again. I'm sorry, but yikes.

   May he rest in peace...but that ring is fugly. And now I'm afraid skulls will be over! Oh and it's $295. Gripes. On to shoes. I love a good shoe almost as much as I love a handbag. I'm willing to spend good money on a nice handbag and I'm a little cheaper when it comes to shoes. The trends change so much quicker and I won't/can't pay $300 for shoes I'll wear one season and then find out "witch boots with black lace" are no longer in fashion. I just don't understand how a high end designer could let this one get past the drawing board...much less be worth $288 on clearance.

Grandma couture

   I actually don't even think my Gram would wear these. And she owns more white semi-dress sandals than any human on earth. The following is photographic evidence of this. We shared a room in Cape Cod 2 summers ago and I caught her packing her stuff up and realized she had brought 3 nearly identical pairs of white old-lady sandals with her. Not one, not two but THREE. She was probably in the Cape for 4 days that year. Because I love her so so much, I edited her face out of this picture because she'd snap my neck if I posted her, make-up less, on my blog. I made her pose:

   Gram is my shining star. These next little ditties, are not.

LAMB, anyone?

   I'm totally messing with you. I actually LOVE those LAMB sandals. Just wanted to see what you'd say.

   Luckily they also sell shoes for clubbed feet. The last pair of shoes made me gasp aloud. These are an orthopedic nightmare. Let me also state for the record that people do have orthopedic shoe needs. I know this. But it should not be called "couture" and cost should not be astronomical (read: $315 for the following).

   Thank you all so very much for listening to my fashion rant. I truly enjoyed it though! There are so many gorgeous items it would take me 2 years to blog all the purses and shoes I would love to own. Go look, it's so fun.  You all rock, have a safe weekend if you are in the path of Ms. Irene. I'm going home to batten down my hatches.

XO Autumn Van Weir


  1. yay, I passed the fashion test - I actually really liked the LAMB shoes! And I don't really mind the flamingo clutch if it were, say, $20. What can I say, I enjoy a clutch o' whimsy.

  2. I knew you would!! I don't mind the flamingo b/c it's bright and fun...and I used to collect flamingos. But c'mon Kate Spade. I could buy a live flamingo for that.

  3. Hahahahaha.
    Somethings are just too absurd for words.
    Most prices are as well.
    I love fashion, but we all have got to draw a line some where.

    Chic on the Cheap

  4. I can attest that you had that hairbow, several of them, in fact. I believe the one and only one I owned was a birthday gift from you in first grade! I think you need to find old pics of your bow collection and do a blog tribute to them.

  5. I really like that McQueen clutch, it's SO Lady Gaga. Also, I should add, I'm a little bit in love with Lady Gaga to the point that it's slightly unhealthy. I really love everything she does and weras and she rocks a LOT of Alexander McQueen crazy masterpieces! It's like if Tim Burton decided to design clothes! :)
    I love that your Gram has so many shoes! Mine owned a pair of old lady shoes for every day of the week and then some. They all matched her "house coats" (that's Grandma speak for "bathrobe I might wear in public").