Monday, July 25, 2011

Kittens, wake up calls and IKEA

   I will begin this by warning that I am operating on 3 hours sleep. So if somethign doesn't make sense, please do not share that with me.  For normal people, that's not such a big issue. For me, however, it's as bad as not having eaten. My husband refers to the "Autumn is hungry" phenomenon as "The Beast". If I've gone for any period of time my body considers lengthy without eating I begin to get short and aggressive with people. I blame biology. Lack of sleep does the same dreadful thing to my personality. I would snap at the President of the United States if he came at me when I was tired. I will first touch on my 12:34 am wake up call.
   I work in security, a never sleeping industry. But not in the exciting way New York city "never sleeps". It's more of a "Numbingly boring corporate office" kind of way in this case. Though my current position may not be sexy as some of my prior jobs (ie., Wedding consultant, allergy product sales phenom, assistant manager at Claire's accessory store), it pays the bills and long term I know it's where I want to be. So picture me sleeping soundly, PJs and all, with my "Thai one on" sleep mask....I'm in the sleep where you are twitching because you're so content that you've finally fallen asleep. And my work phones rings. I'm confused, I'm tired I roll over and make my best attempt at sounding awake which comes out sounding like Ursula in The Little Mermaid when Ariel's shell necklace falls and breaks and her man voice returns in front of Prince Eric.

   It's someone at my site who doesn't feel well and needs to leave. I tell him I'll do what I can. I spend the next hour trying to get someone to come in to no avail. I call him back and explain this, sorry I can't be of further help. He hangs up on me. Lovely. I call back, now furious with my face mask pushed up, hair in disarray trying not to shout and wake up my household of husband and animal alike. He "didn't realize I was still talking". Riiiiiiight.

   So I was in my office at 5:50 to relieve him.

   Say WHAT??? Who is that precious little entity? That's our new addition. Part one of the title of this post. His name shall be called Turk. Aaron thought it would be cool to name him after our favorite day of our honeymoon, Grand Turk. He is hilariously animated and just what our Apollo needed to keep him company.

   It wasn't love at first least not for Turk. He was terrified of this giant pillow-like creature trying to sniff him. But 12 hours later, they were BFFs. Still some minor hissing and spitting (on Turk's part). But all in all, I'm not afraid to leave them home least I don't think I am. 
FINE, one more picture for good measure...

   So that was my Saturday & Sunday! "Autumn, you didn't tell us how your Friday night was though..." My mistake. I WENT TO IKEA!!!! The land of lamps and bedspreads! The place where you are served a $5 cheese and spinach crepe and top it off with Swedish meatballs. And I did. Special thanks to Sara for intro-ing my non-cultured self in the art of the Swedes and their balls of meat.

   What would a trip to IKEA be without me posing seductively (or not so much) on one of the fake apartment's beds?

   On Saturday my Dad asked me "what did you get?" and I started rattling off my choices "light bulbs, a white bedspread for the spare room, a fake fur carpet...." and he cut me off with "never mind. I don't even know why I asked". OK. Thanks Jake. My FAVE purchase was the nerdiest. Drawer separators for my underwear. Once that's set up I will advise you on whether it was worth my hard earned $7.99 or not...I know you're as excited as I am about it....but relax.

   My favorite part of the night was a toss up between Lisa and her crazy self propelling cart that was so "free spirited" she was able to push it 100% sideways through the lot...

   And me mispronouncing the word "fades" on a Barber shop sign that had it spelled "fadez" (we were in a city, don't judge). "What the hell is faaahhdez?" was my interpretation of it. Sara promptly corrected me by screaming out "FADES!" like it was the most obvious thing on Earth. I thought I had just discovered some new hair trend amongst a little known barber in New Haven, CT. False. Turns out I just don't speak gangster as well as Sara. I stand corrected and humble...

   Now if you'll excuse me I need to go pretend I'm not fadezing fast....Up Next, why they should stop calling it "D.I.Y" and should just saying "diying".


  1. The underwear organizers are the best things on the planet. Fact. I brougt mine all the way back from London when moved. ;-) xx

  2. *sigh* brought. Not brougt. More coffee please.

  3. Sara "Fadez" MarianoJuly 25, 2011 at 8:52 AM

    again, my condolences on your wake up call, but I appreciated the Ursula reference. I see that they are going to be showing Aladdin in 3D sometime soon - they best show The Little Mermaid as well. That movie is a life-changer.
    I totally agree on the DIY - for the longest time I resisted the urge to call it DUI. Not sure why THAT acronym rolls off the tongue so easily, but I digress...