Monday, October 10, 2011

Misunderstood Monday

   I have done "10 things I like" before. I try do a "Friday Factoid 5" on Fridays. I'm missing an entire genre of untapped blogging. "5 Things I Don't Understand"'re welcome, world.

1. Food packaging. We're all a sucker for a bag of chips or candy. I get that they need to have room for air inside so when I accidentally sit on it during a Modern Family DVD marathon, the chips aren't ruined (thank GOD). Why, though, does an unbreakable candy need to be wrapped so haphazardly?

   Why this? It was only in my hand for a brief 2.2 second window before I poured it down my gullet. So what gives? Clearly someone over at Hershey's is all "We'll never run out of plastic. Don't be silly". Stoopit.

2. The best part. This one is about to reveal something about me that I'm not proud of. I'm a junk food lover. I avoid it as much as possible. But when the stress do the marshmallows. If everyone's favorite part of the cereal is the marshmallow shapes (ie., Lucky Charms and the like) why isn't there a box available of all marshmallows? Why isn't there more bagel chip pieces in the Chex Bold Party mix bags?  That's what we're all digging for, so just do your worst! Lay it on us. It's so much less professional when I shake someones hand and my hand is covered in garlic powder from the bag when it could have just been on my fingertips.

omg you KNOW you'd eat this, every now and then. google images

3. Mispronouncing average words. Orientated. Mute point (rather than "moot"). The sentence "Not an atypical..." did no one ever correct these people as kids? Did they always say things wrong? I have one of my own that I'm willing to admit. I can't order a cinnamon chip scone from Panera. I say "Chinnamin Chip scone" every single time. It's embarrassing and everyone but me can say it. I'm sorry, English language. I haven't mastered you yet.

4. When people say "Oh you look tired". Take this under advisement. If you say t hat, I know you mean "You look bad today". So just DON'T say it! Also, if I look tired, it's safe to say I'm cranky. Apparently I didn't do a very good eye makeup job today. Someone just said "You look like you got punched in the eye". It's the same person who ALWAYS says it when I don't have enough cover up on. Thanks.

5. I'm worried my husband may be eating with serving silverware pieces. We haven't entertained in a while and I keep finding the gigantic turkey serving fork in the dishwasher. Is he using them to eat? I haven't asked because I'm afraid to know the answer.

Have a good day today!!


  1. LOL Your husband sounds like mine. I'll randomly find things and think, "ummmm do I want to know!" And I can't say publicity. I'm weird.

  2. i once had a boss ask me if i was hung-over. i wondered just how bad i must have looked that day. and that's hilarious about the fork.

  3. I'm cracking up so bad. My fiance was eating from the serving spoon for a while. He didn't notice how it wasn't in the same spot as the rest of the spoons and that it was 3 times larger? Also, when people tell me I look tired, I want to punch them in the face. However, when I need to play hooky and pretend I'm sick, I don't wear eye makeup and people will say "Oh yeah you look sick." I guess its a double edged mascara wand. And one more thing - Orientated kills me. I say it to be funny but then I'll accidentally say it in real life and get so embarrassed. Ok this long comment is over.

  4. Ahhh, your last one cracked me up.
    You should at least tell him that the dishwasher will ruin the silver and that he needs to wash those by hand ;)

    Chic on the Cheap

  5. So I haven't posted much lately and figured this was a great one to JUMP back into the groove of it since vacation. (Yes, I said Jump back into the groove, wanna fight about it?)

    I agree with with everything you just posted! Why isn't there a cereal made of just marshmallows? I mean it is the best part, or better yet...Why not a cereal just made of the honey oat clusters? I know I would get down! Also, I dont want your stupid pretzels! Give me the bagel chips and the little bread rods. If I wanted a bag of pretzels I would of bought a bag of pretzels.

    As for people who feel the need to comment on your daily appearance should be shot! Okay maybe not shot because that is a little harsh but really didn't their mothers ever teach them that if they didn't have anything nice to say they shouldn't say anything at all? We all know how we look in the morning trust, there are some mornings I feel that I shouldn't leave the house but the bills don't pay themselves! SO DEAL WITH IT!

    Also, as a man who was forced to polish silver as a kid (my aunt made me think that it was fun!) I know first hand that SILVER SHOULDN'T GO IN THE DISHWASHER! EVER!

    This rant was brought to you by Starbucks, when my life just wont run on Dunkin, I must turn to Diesel!

    -Swarles Barkley

  6. I had a friend once say jalapeno: Ja-lap-en-o because she was reading it and not paying attention. So now whenever I order anything with jalapenos I have to make sure I way it the correct way and not the way we say it to each other (does that sentence even make sense?)

    And also Swarley you are legen- wait for it- DARY! I love that you, clearly, love HIMYM!