You, sir, are odd.

I don't know that I've ever mentioned how weird the cat who inspired this blog IS. He's the dirtiest Himalayan any vet or groomer has ever seen. Apollo sleeps on our heads at night, right on the pillow. He sticks his tongue out regularly because he has teeth missing. We think he does it to be funny. He does as he pleases, but really loves to be around people. Not all cats do...
  

He has rituals. The most unusual I've witnessed has been going on since we brought him home and set up his litter in the laundry room (only after weeks of litter in the foyer, then hallway, etc. until we were able to lure him downstairs to find it). Any time either if us is in our little laundry room, he has to be there. Then, like creepy clockwork, he makes his way to the litter. He doesn't go always. But he does do what you're about to see for at least 5 minutes. I think my cat has OCD. Please note the patch on the wall above his head. He did that.

Happy Wednesday, I suppose!

Falling down stairs

  This is a literal post. I'm not trying to be coy or funny. Those just come naturally. This post is to tell you all that I wouldn't ask if my own husband was OK if he fell down the stairs. I know this to be true because it occurred. I'm not proud of it.

   Imagine a guy who is 6'7 slipping and falling down stairs. Then imagine that he doesn't get injured and you don't actually see it. You only HEAR it. This has happened before and I have to say it's a joke as old as time. It will never get old. He was mildly annoyed that I had a 10 minute laughing fit before asking if he was OK. I tried to pawn it off as wifely intuition. He would have none of that. Oh well. At least I got a good chuckle in.

   This morning when we headed downstairs (husband and cats) to get ready to go to work and eat our cat food (respectively) there was the strangest sound coming from the outside. Or so I thought. It sounded like someone's dryer had a loose something or other and was squealing. Aaron opened the door to the basement (which is funny b/c there is an open "cat hole" so they can come and go freely) and it got louder. Naturally I assumed it was our dryer. Don't ask me who I thought was doing laundry at 6 am.

   He continued down the stairs, cats in tow. Something was clearly up as the cats were ignoring their meals and it's usually the "end of the world" as they wait to be fed. A mole. There was a mole. Running for it's life. I felt we should save him since Apollo has become quite the mouser.  Aaron says "grab them!" and runs down stairs with puffy gloves on.

   I rushed the 2 hunters upstairs. Turk escaped before I even had the door shut all the way to my bedroom.
I got her back, scooped up Apollo and sat waiting for Aaron to chase a blind mole around our basement.

   Saved from certain death, the mole was released back into the wild. Well...the condo complex mini-lawn.

Would you want this to be the last face you ever saw?

Weekend ends

   I just spent the better part of 2 days getting my whole house back in order...and it's DONE!!! I did about 10 loads of laundry...how do 2 adults make that much laundry? I'm going to start wearing things inside-out to get a second use. Really start saving on detergent too I bet...

Upon ending the last load of laundry I normally assemble all Aaron's socks. They got me this time though. How many different kinds of short black socks are in this house?? And no, none of these had a fellow.

   Little Turk's surgery went great. Hernia fixed, spayed. Maybe now she'll stop giving Apollo that
"come hither" look. Look at that poor little shaved belly :( She had a fever yesterday, but she's great now. Back to giving us all a run for our money.

 

 

   And last but not least.  I bought 2 new cats beds when we were told we had fleas (we did not...). I don't know if I was angrier because we didn't have them and all the trouble I went to to "get them gone"...or maybe should have just been overjoyed we DIDN'T have them. Drama. So their cat beds had to be tossed. Apollo had the same cat bed since we brought him home. He hid in protest.

  

  We usually find him in weird places, but he needed a bed. So did Turk. TODAY, months later, is the first time I saw either of then near the new beds. And both of them (at different times) slept in the same on. Sigh.

 

    OK. I don't feel like cooking, so I'm grilling hot dogs for dinner.  A real gourmet...

Um...P.s. while I was writing this- this happened. Literally just now. 

Attention whores.

A leisurely drive

   What would happen if one of my cats escaped in the car? You always see people with dogs in their laps and on the back window, panting away. But cats are a little more insane and most already hate the car to begin with. Enter: Turk.

   After a panicked car ride to the vet, she totally calmed down inside the office. She's very low key when she wants to be. Often times though, Apollo stares at her with disdain because she's bouncing off the walls and he's just so above that.

   On the ride home Turk got slightly aggressive. She was panting (like a dog...) and squeaking. I wanted to calm her down after she tried to burst through the netted sides of the travel carrier. Unzipped ever so cautiously, slipped my hand in and started petting her and she calmed right down. Suddenly, we're at a stop light and she has gone around my hand and 50% f her little body is OUT of the carrier. I try to affectionately shove her little head back into the case and she battles with me. It's rapid fire shoving.

And I lost. If you ever wondered what a cat loose in a car looked like, I now know and so does everyone who was on the road around me.



   I lure her back over to me... she excitedly looks out my window.

I get her in my hands and pop her back in the carrier. Safe and sound. I turn my head back and I'm about 3 miles from home now. I look back and she's out again! She literally unzipped her carrier with her kitten thumbs and hopped on out like she owned the place! We were so close to home and being out of the carrier calmed her so much I let her stay. I got her in my lap and held her with one hand. Not even petting her, just had a vice grip on her little body so she wouldn't dart under the brake pedal.

We make eye contact. Her giant hazel, scheming eyes meet my dark brown eyes, now filled with fear. We have a stare down in this exact position for a couple seconds. I look back at the road. We're good. Almost home. And in that very position seen above is where she falls asleep in my left hand. I unclench my teeth and relax the last 30 seconds. We're home! Sigh.



End of home reno...forever

   Carpet is DONE! My house still looks like we left the windows open during a tornado, though. The best part was when Apollo walked on it for the first time he didn't know what it was and walked with all 20 claws out at full attention. He got caught with every step like he had Velcro on his feet. Hilarious!

Here are the "before" pictures.

It was just old and dingy. The previous owner had a huge lab and several cats and apparently never vacuumed.

   It was installed Friday, so I entered my foyer at 6 pm to find that the carpet didn't think we did a very good job emptying the living room.

Even Turk was horrified! Couch cushion son top of the cat food station. Freaking narsty.

This was our handiwork, making use of the new bathroom. Crap from the spare bedroom closet.

Our plea to not let the cats out mid-install.

Drumroll...for the new darker carpet!

My house is still a mess. But I took the time to decorate for Halloween, of course. It's October, after all.

And I found this in the spare bath sink, along with my "dead prom queen" dress from Halloween years ago.

   Things are almost back to normal! Except for that cat...

  

Carpet non-prep

   I am being SUCH a slacker. I am fully aware that I have to have EVERY knick knack and decor items removed from walls, shelves...basically any surface I have crap on, needs to be cleared off. I've done 5% of that at this time. I have tonight and tomorrow night to work on it as they will be gracing us with their presence 9 am Friday morning.

   In related news, the areas of the spare room I started to clean out a bit, a bigger mess has erupted, courtesy of Turk. We used purple feathers rather than flower petals at our wedding for my flower girl to drop. I have a ton left over because I grossly overestimated how many feathers would fit in her tiny basket. I came around the corner last night to this:

It looks like a purple bird got mauled in my guest room.

   90% of the items on the floor came off that shelf. By the cats. The other 10% was from the contractor who came over last night to "patch up" the holes he made in our dining room ceiling. He didn't get very far when he realized he "forgot something" and apparently bounced. He wasn't there when I got home at 7.

   I hope to God he doesn't think the hole he fixed there is done...because it looks like hell. But don't worry he'll back. Again. Tonight. So I can't comfortably walk around in sweats like a slob. Aaron says he's almost done and to get over it. That's super easy to say when you aren't the one who has to make small talk with this clown when all you want to do is lay on the couch with no bra and eat Oreos. Aaron gets home late, so it's a moot point for him.

   What I have started to pack has naturally been undone by cats as well. I don't know why I thought it brilliant to put an open box on the fireplace.

Luckily the "good stuff" wasn't in there when Apollo leaped in.

                              I will be at home this evening. Dealing with this nonsense. Think of me...

Totally regretting the "let's make our condo nicer!" idea.



Maine Wrong

   I am one of the most competitive people on Earth. The problem is... I married the second most competitive. My brother would probably be the third. Life is interesting sometimes, let's leave it at that.

   A flash of a giant cat came across the TV and he resembled Apollo very much.

That's his "hey, baby" wink.

   There he is, the Bear. The first love of our lives at parents. Our Apollo. He's a purebred Himalayan which is a mixed breed created in the mid 1900s. They are a combo of Siamese and Persian. They are very high maintenance as far as cleaning, brushing, teeth issues and eye drainage.

"check out my dope necklace" http://www.catsofaustralia.com/

Clearly he's part marhsmallow. http://www.world4pets.com/

So this guy should make more sense now.





   He's happy don't worry. Anyhow...I clearly know the background of this breed we proudly own. I did the homework when we got the little enormous guy. We see a cat on TV that looks just like Apollo but calico.

Me- *squeeeeal* it's our baby!

Aaron- Nah, That's a Maine Coon.

Me- That's not. He has the flat face like Apollo, or a Persian.

Aaron- Maine Coons have the same thing.

Me- Have you ever even seen a Maine Coon in real life? You're so wrong.

*Now I know he's ticked because I jump in with his usual "wanna make a bet?" argument. That's the tell tale that Aaron has proof that he's empirically correct. I NEVER say it because I can rarely back myself up.

Me- Are you sure? Let's look it up.

Aaron- (swipes away both cell phone with web access) No. I'm right.

Me- You aren't (reaches for phone).

The majestic Maine Coon. Proving me right  via here.



Aaron- *Subject change* I want a Maine Coon. Look how BIG that guy is! We have to get one someday. AHH look at that tail!

Me- *Eye roll. Not even allowed to bask in my own glory*


   Good thing both the cat and Aaron are cute.

Monday /Altoid Curse

   Most Mondays are as you'd expect around here. I don't want to get up because the cats are cuddly...

   Or because the bathroom isn't done yet. Or the weekend is always too short because I jam pack as many errands and fun  events as can be. This week it was different. It was like a scene from a sitcom. Aaron's alarm went off at 6:20 "by accident". It was supposed to be set for 7:20. This woke me up unhappily and left me wide awake until 7:00 when my alarm went off. 10 minutes later the power went off.

   I tried to call CL&P to find out when the power would be back on but naturally Aaron doesn't know which phone number the account is linked to (turned out to be the disconnected home phone) or his account number. For once he threw the paid bill away rather than leaving it on a counter so I had no reference. All the while during this time I'm trying to do my makeup in my jewelry box mirror at the bedroom window and trying to fend off Turk who is all too curious.

   I get us found by address and the system robot tells me power is "normally restored in 2 hours" but no guesstimate as to when OURS would be back on. My concern is IF Bob shows later, there will be no power. The system is then giving me the case number and I have no pen, no paper. I scramble to my nightstand and find my checkbook and a sharpie and start writing it. I hear a crunching sound. I go around the side of the bed and Turk has stolen a mini-rose that I saved from an important Aunt's funeral 2 years ago and she is mangling it. I snatch the rose, hit the "say it again" button to make CL&P-bot repeat and get the number. I get ready and leave.

   There's over an hour of traffic. I run into the store to grab a couple things, Excedrin (don't judge), conditioner, cat food etc. I get out to the car and sort out the things I wanted in my purse. I find these:

   This is the second time recently that I didn't pay for Altoids and they ended up being bagged into my items at checkout. I don't like them, I'm not curious enough. Is someone trying to tell me something?

   I get to work, try to log onto CL&P to see about our power sitch. I left the case number on my dresser. I blame Monday. And all the Altoids. Bathroom still isn't done. 



Trident?

   I don't chew Trident gum. Explain to me, then, how a piece pf gooey melted Trident green gum ended up on the floor of my closet and attached to my favorite pair of work shoes??

   *Tear*. Guess what? I wore them anyway. I refuse to let these go. I wear only pant suits anyhow so you can't totally see it. I just learned that my mall no longer has a Nine West. That's 2 pairs down the drain.

   Those evenings where everything goes wrong was certainly the case last night. Aaron came home from work early with joint pain and a very high temperature and cough. He came home and I suggested a nice hot shower because he was freezing. I guess he was excited to grab a towel because I heard a crash and came upstairs to find our old towel rack (that came with the condo) shattered and towels on the floor.

And the remnants on my shelf.

   He then curled up on the couch, I got him blankets etc and kept checking his fever. Where I come from 103 is serious. Where he comes from it means "go to work the next morning anyhow"....? Hmmmm. Amidst that crisis and me trying to reassemble the broken towel bar (not fixable) the cat peed in the bathtub. While I was looking right at her. There may be something of a defiant streak in this cat. Maybe she's still mad about the rabies vaccine.

   It's a new day...have a good one! Did anyone else have a weird night?